By VIOLET RITTENHOUR

In October, I traveled to a conference called the Systems of Care Summit in Wichita, Kansas, and met many parent advocates from around the country. It was good to see so many states developing staff roles for parents in their child welfare systems. But I came away with some pretty mixed feelings.

At the conference, I saw parent after parent get up and describe themselves in negative terms. Most had been in recovery and worked mainly with other parents in recovery. Their stories were often about being neglectful, irresponsible parents who had changed their ways thanks to the child welfare agency. They spoke about helping other parents cooperate with the system.

Almost no one spoke of any need for the child welfare agencies to change or improve their practices. No child welfare professionals said, “We have made mistakes, too. We don’t have all the answers.”

That was disappointing. Substance abuse is not the only thing that brings families into contact with the system, and public child welfare workers are not always helpful or respectful to families. A good parent organizer knows when to work in cooperation with the system, and when to confront and challenge agency workers and policies.

Plus, in order to become a parent advocate in some states, parents had to submit to an interview held in the parent’s home with whole family present. If they changed or left out details of their case, they were not allowed to be a parent advocate.

When it was my time to speak I couldn’t wait to say that that is the wrong approach. I am a parent organizer at the Child Welfare Organizing Project (CWOP), an advocacy organization for birth parents.

At CWOP, parents come in looking for support at first, and they change the details or don’t tell all the details of their cases all the time. That’s OK. We’re not here to investigate parents but to help them. As time goes on and they see this is safe place they open up.

Parents leave here knowing how to advocate for themselves. That doesn’t mean helping other parents follow every rule the foster care system lays down. It means making sure parents know their rights and know how to communicate to get what they need to get their children home. It means working with the system sometimes and fighting against it others.

By seeing how parent advocates are treated—and how they work—in some other states, I saw that in New York City we are light years ahead. By no means are we where we need to be as a system, but at least CWOP is an independent voice for parents. At least our foster care system engages families in policy making in a meaningful way.

Through CWOP, parents here have a true voice, a place outside the system to find support, collect their thoughts and set their own agenda for system change.